THE BENEFIT OF BEING A FULANI PERSON HOW I WISH I WAS A FULANI MAN!!!

So that I wouldn’t be bothered going to school.
So that no one will expect me to stand out in the midst of my peers.
So that I wouldn’t have wasted these years burning candles to pass exams.
So that my parents would not tell me, how this man’s child who is my mate, had graduated.

How I wish I was a fulani man.
So that I could get any jobs in Nigeria without having to qualify for it.
So that I could be admitted into any university without any credits.
So that I could go through the Univeristies, graduate without passing any exams.
So that I would be the managing director (MD) of NNPC with no knowledge or training about management.

How I wish I was a fulani man.
So that I could carry AK47 riffles along the road without molestation.
So that I could kill any of these infidels without being arrested.
So that I could embezzle public funds and no one would prosecute me.
So that I could threaten anyone with impunity.

How I wish I was a fulani man.
So that I could destroy churches and businesses in the name of Boko haram.
So that I could be recruited into the Nigerian army and police after committing many atrocities.
So that I could be trained abroad for killing people.
So that I could be rewarded by the government with dollars.

How I wish I was a fulani man.
So that I could tell the Yoruba man that we’re one Nigeria because we go the same mosque.
So that I could tell the Igbo man we’re one Nigeria to pacify him.
So that I could tell southern minorities that we’re one Nigeria because we granted them amnesty.
So that all Nigerians would be made to join any of our political parties (PDP and APC), and be controlled by us.
How I wish I was a fulani man, so that I could have unrestricted access into Nigerian account and do whatever I wanted with it.

But that’s the reality on ground right now.

By Tomie Uche

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